this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
