Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
