Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
