i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
