i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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