He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
