so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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