he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
