TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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