There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
