At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
