She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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