The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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