I wish I could teleport
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
