Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
