Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
