I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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