Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
we should paint friendship bongs
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