Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
