sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
