I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall