Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself