dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
