oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.