just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons