Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag