I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
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Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?