I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize