I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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