highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize