i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
