what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
