i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
