Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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