I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
