The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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