When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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