I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so let's talk penis.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
