A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
