Do you still have your period?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
