so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize