yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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