So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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