I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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