ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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