everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
