How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You smell like stripper and shame
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
