I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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