I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
