evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am one with the molecules
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
