glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
