omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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