dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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