i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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