did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
