Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
