Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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