Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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