Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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