Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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