After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
