he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
