i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
