You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
whose parrot is this?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
