if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
