She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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