You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
